confession #000013

... or, the issue with perfect timing

just when all your cells are geared into achieving a goal, everything seems to happen to ensure that you do not manage or even have the will to try.  

this week was a case in point: a case of perfect timing, in its worse possible manner.  

as i mentioned a few times on this blog, this month (less than 3 weeks now actually), are meant to be completely geared towards my shedding at least a couple of kilos before i go to visit my mr. darcy.  and in all truth and fairness, i did somewhat try to 'go healthy' for a couple of days at least. 

the thing is this.  this week has been a whirlwind week full of events or post-work commitments that had to be seen to during the last week of the so-called half days.  i'm not complaining about anything i did willingly or not so willingly.  it is simply a means of justifying my being where i am now - stuck at my same weight and suffering the (potential) consequences of something i'll explain later on.  

saturday saw a birthday party which carried on to sunday dinner.  i was pretty well behaved there, at least on saturday as i stuck to sushi; but i could not say no to some middle eastern dips and a good portion of king prawn curry with naan bread on sunday.  on the plus side, i managed to resist the cake / dessert temptation on both nights.  hurrah!

twice this week i decided to bake like there's no tomorrow so i first tried my hands at a vegetarian baked rice, which, wasn't half bad if i can say so myself.  next i tried a caramelised onion and mushroom tart.  on the whole both sound relatively healthy but when one considers the amount of lard in the tart pastry ... any points for effort are immediately withdrawn!

mid-week i had a garden tea-party (no food photos here) but all the dips, sandwiches and mini pastizzi were just exquisite!  was not the only one who feasted there since mosquitoes seemed to have taken a shine to my legs, which are by now, bumpier than the worst road on the island.  

and then yesterday i decided to 'treat' myself to something that was meant to be a vegetable lasagna ... 

i realised at this point that i could not carry on like this.  so desperate times called for desperate measures.  i invested in some herbal diet pills.  i know i know i know ... that is not the way to go.  but frankly enough, even if they act as a placebo and make me think that i do not need to finish off all that's on my plate or that i don't need to have that 'something sweet' after a meal, then i'm happy to take them. 

the issue with perfect timing is that tonight i was meant to attend an important work-related event.  instead, i am here writing about my week of failed dieting and my last resort solution.  funnily enough, whenever we say that something is happening with 'perfect timing', it is never actually perfectly timed now is it?  the reason behind my being stuck indoors tonight is one of two options: either my body is reacting to this week of gastronomic debauchery or my body is reacting to the first couple of doses of these herbal diet aids.  

whichever the case, this is, i suppose, another reality check that my habits need to change, and change fast if i want to achieve what i set out to do.