confession #000004

... or, where in doubt, blame it on the widescreen

one thing i forgot to mention yesterday, was that while i was trying to keep a somewhat composed appearance while holding on for dear life on the threadmill's handles at the gym, i got a crash-course in r'n'b / hip hop videos courtesy of trace urban (or whatever that channel is called).  

not much seems to have changed since last i intentionally listened to anything r'n'b / hip hop some 1 million years ago.  guys with dubious dress sense were still showing off their bling bling and wagging wads of 'benjamins' in front of cars straight from the set of the fast and furious flicks.  in the meantime, barely clad women still shook their booties to the fellas' pleasure.  

luckily for me, the sound was on mute so i couldn't listen to the highly intellectually challenging lyrics.  unluckily for me, the gym was pumping to the sound of some electro / techno / whatever (i never really knew the difference) and the thunderbolts from the storm raging outside.  

at one point, jennifer lopez' collaboration with flo'rida came up and right after that, nicki minaj's starships followed.  for someone who's not much into that kind of music, it comes as a surprise - even to myself - how i still remember this.  one reason could be the excess neon colours used in both videos which together with the thunderbolt flashes, blinded me for a few minutes.  one other reason, which i think is more plausible, is that i saw it as a bit of a 'battle of the bums'.  

vs

both female singers are well known for having a rather rotund backside.  now, way back when i was somewhere close to being a size 6, i used to keep j-lo (as she was known at the time), as a body role model.  i could have probably been cast in the only way is essex at the time as i used to keep myself perma-tanned and my hair was a brassy shade of honey.  i dreamt of being like j-lo.  i was all about the love don't cost a thing video back then!!! lord, how things have changed and how thankful i am for that!

anyway, the thing is that both bums looked incredibly huge and giggly.  i wondered whether it was because since last i had watched any of her videos, jennifer lopez became a mummy.  but what about nicki minaj? i mean, i don't want to sound shallow or rude but her thighs were rumbling just as much as the thunder outside! isn't some form of photoshop used on videos as well? while i do have a lot of admiration for their audacity, i'd have never chosen any of the outfits / swimwear either of the two sport in the two videos.  but then again, maybe they were chosen intentionally to milk the money making bottoms ...

on the other hand, i might keep re-watching these two videos over and over again (preferably on a widescreen format to see these 'defects' more clearly, and more expansively) to finally re-convince myself that hips and bums are good.  it does not mean i'll let go of any effort i'm doing to lose weight, it's just a means of accepting looking like a toned pear (read bambinella) shape rather than hopelessly aiming to look like a runner bean! 

all hail the pear bambinella shape