confession #000005

... or, my perfect pair

no.  it's nowhere close to what you're thinking, you dirty minded reader! 

my perfect pair is bread and cheese.  indeed, simple, wholesome, bread and cheese.  well, really and truly, any form of carbohydrate and cheese.  sometimes butter pops in for an even more delightful threesome.  but the pair on their own are good enough.  

i was always very much addicted to both staple foods mentioned.  i remember buying fresh maltese bread as a child and by the time i crossed the road from the grocer's to my parents' house, the bread would have been nicely caved in, courtesy of my nibbling away at the fluffy white interior (i was never a big fan of crusts, especially when they are a bit "well done").  likewise, i used to nibble away at freshly cut cheddar cheese, to my mother's chagrin.  whenever my lunch consisted of bread and cheese or, cream crackers and cheese, my face used to light up at its sight upon opening my barbie lunch-box.

could be that i found an explanation for my persistent 'puppy fat'? 

"look mum, the bread has a hole in it!"

when i grew up, my addiction probably just grew with me.  i recall my five minute breaks from writing my first thesis used to consist of my heading over to the kitchen to make myself a cheese toast.  jesus, i could go through a whole loaf of jesper's multigrain in a day.  i used to kid myself that having the multigrain option would somewhat be healthier.  certainly not if one ate a whole loaf a day! no wonder that as soon as i finished my thesis and finals i had to head straight to MM's slimming salon for some much needed damage repair! 

i must have been a mouse in a past life ...

i was then told (or made to believe?) i was (am?) lactose intolerant.  this was somewhat traumatic for me.  my eating patterns revolved around cheese in any form, shape or taste! i've spent a good 9 years or so not having cheese, practically ever.  in all fairness, this lack of cheese - or any dairy for that matter - did come in handy every time i dieted since i was in any case avoiding these full-fat foods.  

but then, someone told me that i can take the enzyme lactase just before i eat anything dairy and i'm in the clear.  no belly aches, no bloating (i'll stop here as it can get somewhat graphic ...) and i tried these 'miracle' pills and they seemed to work.  at first i used to take them only on occasions when i couldn't control what i would be eating - like being a dinner guest or when i'm abroad.  then i started having them more often as i started craving cheesy stuff more and more.  now i find myself back to square one, having lactase before almost each and every meal, because, lo and behold, almost each and every meal (even those i cook myself!) have some dairy.  today was a case in point. 

today's menu (back to square one)

• special k with soy milk
• special k bar
• a handful of wasabi peas
• 1 slice pizza by luca margherita
• wholemeal baguette with mozzarella

it might not look like i've eaten much but i'm sure if i were to count the calories in this batch it would add up to way over a 1000 calories!  over and above that, i didn't hit the gym as i was planning since i needed to prioritise heart matters over body matters (body matters didn't stand a chance in the first place!) and i doubt how much walking from mosta to the trade fair grounds in naxxar compensated for all this.  

anyway, i think i should better stop beating myself about it and resenting what i ate today.  i'll just take the scarlett o'hara approach and say, "after all ... tomorrow is another day!"

"now seriously boys, does my bum look big in this?"