confession #000058

... or, just one of those days

this morning i woke up in one of those 'eating isn't very chanel' / 'nothing tastes as good as skinny does' kind of moods. i don't know if the (by now locally infamous) transforma advert had anything to do with it.  what with playing on my sub-conscious and all that.  it could even be the realisation of the total abandonment of any dieting effort over the last month.  my schedule has been as bad sh*t crazy as the weather here in krakow, providing me with ample excuses reasons to forego a jog for a cup of tea and a bar of chocolate.

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confession #000031

... or, this is no april's fool

i've been saying that i want to go back down to my (uk) size 6 for a very long time now. i've even started this blog specifically to keep myself accountable to myself and those who choose to follow, on my progress - or lack of - in this endeavour. 

my deadline starts ticking today.  and no, this is no april's fool. i am seriously going to stick to two very arduous promises challenges i'm making to myself: 

1: stick to the diet 

2: no shopping till london

as of today i have exactly 53 days to achieve this.  this is going to be my sort of 'post-lent' sacrifice.  i must confess that i haven't really made any sacrifices this past lent.  

on palm sunday, only a budvar original would do for the lone ranger

the 40 days and 40 nights included a trip to malta where i over-indulged in junk food and a trip to berlin where a macaron day (or two or three) was being celebrated at galeries lafayette.  tell me, how could i resist? i've also done a substantial bit of shopping over the past weeks, stocking up on spring clothes, only to leave them with their tags on in the wardrobe as the sub-zero temperatures don't seem to want to lift in krakow.  

snow on good friday ... now tell me if you wouldn't comfort-eat as well?!

and since i have 53 days left to go for my mini-break in the great capital of unbridled shopping, i found it to be a most alluring incentive. 

the realisation came to me yesterday, somewhere in between buying the gorilla twins vest top from the kooples, realising that westfield shopping centre is a mere 15 minute walk from my hotel in london and scoffing a family-size box of maltesers which had been jealously saved for a 'special occasion'.  easter seemed to have fit that brief, especially given the fact that we're missing figolli here.  anyway, i digress. 

with easter being a time of renewal and all that, i found that it was high time to renew myself and renew my challenges and promises, with these two being the ones which i most desperately need to keep.  i can't let myself - or you, my dear followers - down again.  not this time.  and this, is not an april's fool. 

confession #000025

... or, the sleep deception

i have a feeling that overtiredness and insomnia have joined forces last night.  despite having an early start to catch a flight back to krakow - make that two actually, with all the hassles of baggage pick-up, second baggage drop-off, second security control, and the occasional air pocket - i could not manage to fall soundly asleep, despite the obvious fatigue. the result is my being online since 04:30 this morning, sporting a pair of luggage sized bags under my eyes. 

in all fairness (and to my defence, in a way), i haven't been just aimlessly browsing.  the quiet morning hours can still be somewhat productive.  even though i have barely unpacked from yesterday's travel, i am already planning my packing for the next trip this wednesday.  i'm off to some work-related training which i'm very much looking forward to, both out of work and personal interest. another plus is the fact that it's in berlin - a city which i've already been to and quite like actually.  alright, alright, it's not up there with my personal top three: krakow (duh!), prague and ljubliana, but it's somewhere on the lines of london and brussels where, if you manage to avoid the tourist traps or the hustle and bustle of daily cosmopolitan life, you're in for a few quirky and interesting surprises.  

the weather for next week seems to promise some more inclement days, but (un)luckily, i'll be spending most of my days away inside.  ever since i discovered polyvore, i tend to start my travel planning there. i usually look up the one item which i'd be dead set on packing for the trip, and work the rest of the outfits around it.  i always try to find the exact items i own or, the closest to.  for instance, the black boxy blazer featured in the set below is river island, whereas the one i own is exactly the same but miss selfridge.  likewise with the jeans - mine are stradivarius, while these are mango, but they're essentially the same.  planning online first, allows me to make the actual packing procedure much quicker since i'd already know what to fish out of the wardrobe.  also, since it's still the early hours of the day, and the mister is still fast asleep (bless him!) i don't want to be rummaging around and wake him up. 

check out the individual items here

as you darling followers know, initially this blog was meant to document my umpteenth attempt at weight loss.  this journey is somewhat proving to be a tad more difficult that i hoped for it to be.  firstly, the regular travelling between poland and malta means that every time i go back to the motherland, i go back to lovely home-cooked traditional meals which are not necessarily diet-friendly.  mind you, i'm not complaining and if mum is reading this: please do not stop pampering me with your lovely meals! there is also the fact that certain things are just not found here in poland.  there's no pastizzi, qassatat, pizza tac-champs, mqaret, figolli, kwarezimal ... all things that i would usually not give much thought to, but when their availability is somewhat scarce if non-existent, become objects of unbridled craving.  after two weeks of indulgence, i find myself ridden with guilt at having sabotaged myself, yet again!

and this week won't be any easier.  airport / airline food, hotel breakfasts, buffet lunches and coffee breaks ... where can i find some discipline to stick to just the healthier, low-fat, low calorie options? can i buy discipline online? does it do next day - nay, immediate - shipping? whenever i'm having a hotel breakfast i catch myself sneering at the other guests around me eating yoghurt and fruit while i'm scoffing a buttery croissant after having already eaten a toast or some cereal.  where do they get that stamina to say no to trying just about everything on display? if anyone knows the answer, please do let me know ...